Unnecessary Roughness!

We've all been on dance floors when it was very difficult to avoid being bumped or stepped on, much less to find dancing room, although it was not really crowded. Why? I don't think there is a simple answer. Some, obviously, don't know what 'slotting' means, but not that many. Neither is the problem only impolite or uncaring dancers. True, every dance floor has its share of those who just don't care, or who just have to show off their wildest moves no matter how crowded the floor, just as every freeway has its share of dangerous drivers. There are some who may neither be impolite nor uncaring, but just don't realize that the only reason they're not battered and bruised is that everyone else is dodging their antics. However, the real problem for many is simply 'control', or the lack of it, for both women and men.

How often have you heard a woman complain of a sore shoulder because a man yanked her around, or watched a man walk off the floor massaging his arm after having to play 'tug boat' to get a woman to move from here to there. So, which came first, the yanked or the yanker? To start with a simple situation, if the man insists on trying steps he barely knows, much less can control, he's often in awkward positions and will yank instead of lead. The lead, of course, should come from the body, not the arm, which gives your partner a chance to move with you rather than having to play catch-up. The woman, on the other hand, shouldn't be doing intricate syncopations or trick footwork that she can't handle. When the woman feels a proper lead, if she can't respond she can't follow and will probably end up being towed or yanked. When either partner is off balance or in an awkward position, and the two are nearly synonymous, the man will usually yank; the woman will be yanked, which often results in more pain as one or the other partner bangs into another couple. There's an old dance adage. You can put an amazing number of good dancers on a crowded floor without problems, but it only takes one or two bad dancers to foul up the whole floor! Being a good or a bad dancer has nothing to do with how many steps a man does (even if he could lead them), or how much trick foot work a woman can get done (while a man's trying to lead something else). Except in contests or exhibitions, dancing has never been steps or syncopations. It's partnership enjoyment, and bumping into other dancers can't be too enjoyable for your partner, not to mention the other couples. Incidentally, if the man looks in the direction he's leading his partner, he can avoid leading her into a collision and the advance indication helps her follow,.

Incidentally, notice how many top dancers seldom take their eyes off their partner. You'll find that it's a lot easier to dance as a partnership when you're looking at your partner. You might also find that you both have a lot more fun dancing together, and enjoy the dance and each other a lot more, too. (Which tells you what I think dancing is all about, doesn't it?)Being a good partner also means being a polite partner. It's fine for an advanced woman dancer to do some nice body or foot work out there after a side pass or sugar push while her less advanced partner is trying to figure out what to lead next..... as long as she is so completely tuned in and on balance that she can mesh with him as soon as he does start a lead. For more advanced men dancers, politeness often means dancing to your partner's level. Neither your partner nor anyone else will be impressed if you make your partner look bad while you're showing off, but you'd be amazed at how many women are impressed by the partner who helps her to look her best. And... in dancing as in sex, a thoughtful, caring partner can give more pleasure. ............ JT - ed